Renew My Faith

Last week I went to a friend house for a week. One thing that I found out that these people hated staying home. Get in long enough to go to the bathroom and out the door again. Can’t sit down and rest for nothing until they got a new computer. Then it was hard to get them out of the house. Which is a good thing.

What is the surprising news is that for the first time in my 27 year history. I drink 4 beers and ate an entire thing of hot wings. This is one thing I have never done. I do not eat things with bones. It freaks me out but I plowed through these wings like I have been doing it for years. After the beers and trips to bathroom, the wings with blue cheese I was only a tad buzzed. It let me loosen up which is great.

Though when I got back, my computer started to act up. I touched my tower and the power supply decided to go ape shit. I had to replace it with one that I had in storage. It works fine but I still need a new one.

Mother was going to buy me a computer whens he got her income tax but the people who did her taxes in 2007 fucked up and filed twice that now the IRS wants mother to pay in this year. I think this is wrong because the tax return place messed up not mother. They should be paying to fix their mess. So I will have to save up more money and hope I can find one for cheep. There is a computer for $398 without a monitor that looks good.

Today I had my ISP come out to check my net connection because it was slugging along and not being able to receive a signal from them. The ISP technician changed out the splitter and a wire outside because it had water. Now my net is running good as ever.

Thats about it for the past week. Hopefully nothing bad happens again. People always tell me to look towards the future, be optimistic and things will get better. Only thing I say to this, we are born to die.

All of a sudden I herd rumbling outside. The noise getting louder and louder, breaking through the sound of my tv. I glance out the window and to my amazement I see hail. I quickly went to the kitchen and peered out the door. In under a minute the road and driveway was covered in white, hail the size of medium sized ice cubes. My mother was perplexed but amazed because she has never seen this before, as I have not either. I took some pictures and I will upload them when I can.

It has been freezing here for the past week or so. Which at this point has frozen the pipes and we now have no hot water. Let me tell you, sponge baths are not my thing. Hopefully the water will kick on and I can take a nice hot shower.

My favorite time to take a walk is just after it stops raining. When the rain has freshened the air and quited the dust. Today was such a day, the rain lifted and I set off for my walk. About half way around the block I heard a very loud rumbling thunder which then it started to pour rain. I did not feel like walking int his so I turned back to walk back home. As I turned to set off back home, my right side lit up and I heard a loud thunder as lightning struck the power lines just off from me. After I flinched from the loud noise I was like “oh, shit” and continued to walk home. Just a bit down further it happened again. This did not scare me as bad as the first one but I did pick up my pace just a tad.

I was able to make it home without any trouble but wow that was scary.

I have had a good laugh at myself over the last few days. Let me tell you my story.

The other day I added a gift card to my amazon account so I can purchase something. I thought the total was off and tried several times to fresh to get the correct amount. I could not solve the issue so I called amazon and a nice service rep went over the problem with me. Apparently I have two accounts associated with my mail address. So while I was ordering from one account I was putting my gift card on another one. Weird I know but I need to check my auto fill more carefully. They could not merge the accounts and the rep told me he could not take the total and just give me a new gift card so he put in a request to the gift card team to take one total and put it to my main account for me. Which thankfully the next day they did. Awesome service rep dude. This made me laugh at myself for not realizing the two different passes I was using.

Secondly, I was having problems logging into my Bank account. I called up on Tuesday and after some verification they reset my pin. Well I could still not log in and that puzzled both myself and the rep. The rep put in a trouble ticket to push it higher and I thanked her and hung up since I had to go to an appointment. I called the next day not realizing it was Veterans day, after I called today. After a few trouble shooting the rep told me I made a user and had to use that instead of my member number. Going d’oh and face palming hard I was able to log in and change my pin. So the last few days have been humbling and face palming worthy.

Most people know that I have social anxiety. I am a very quite, shy guy that would rather be left alone. Over the past few years I have been fighting more to overcome this. In the past few months alone, I have been doing overwhelming things I would not have done years ago. Today I started a conversation with the woman doing my hair. I talked to the cashier at my local Wal-Mart and I pumped/paid for gas. People take these things for granted but to me these are challenges that I do not wish to do. I was over joyed when I did these things. I am a 27-year-old male who may love knowledge but common things like simply pumping gas is hard for me.

There has been times in my life when someone would ask me to get out and pump gas. I would simply flip out and start acting like a 10 year old covering my face with my shirt.

My cat has been acting weird over the past two weeks. She goes in and out of the house over the years we had her but for the past 2 weeks she refuses to leave the house unless we toss her out to go get some fresh air. Even then she will try to run back into the house. There has been two other cats showing up around the house. I, never wanting to see a hungry animal fed them. My cat wanted outside but then she started to fight one of the cats outside pinning it against the door. I had to split them up and she hissed at me which I do not allow her to do. She got in trouble for that and she would not leave the cat alone unless I was either between them or the cat was in my lap.

My cat is a little devil while the other two wildish cats were shy but would cuddle right up to you once in your arms/lap. Wish we could take them in but even my one cat makes my mom’s allergies act up.

This morning my mother told me her Verizon pre-paid cell phone was not working. Every time she tried to dial out it would not work and told her to contact support. She handed the phone to me to see if I can do anything. I tried restoring the phone to factory settings hoping that would. Now it is saying I do not even have a number! What?

I tried calling their pre-paid phone support and it kept telling me to input the cell phone I was calling about. I do so and I was then told by the computer that there is no record of this number. WHAT!? Then was told to go to a url link to activate the phone which also said the same thing. After an hour of dealing with this I called the Sales number and was greeted by a lovely lady who did her best to help me and transfered me to… the same number was given me problems. This number required a Verizon number to work and since my mother was apparently not working it would not take me through.

I called a second time and I did my best to explain the problem and about the working/non-working info and he transfered me to a live tech who got on the line a few minutes later. I explained again what happed to this lady and she told me that there is a record for that number but yesterday (09-18-2009) that someone called up and deactivated the phone and the number. I am not sure if they transfered the cell number because after she told me this I was kind of upset and not paying attention. So, we go through the process of of reactivating the phone with a new number since I can not get the old one back. So someone took the number and now we are out money because we still had time on the phone.

All in all the people were nice but getting to a live person is hell and took longer then I think necessary. I am not sure who called but who ever did are assholes. >.>

As I said in a previous post about thinking of returning to college. Yesterday I did go up to the local college and talked to the director there. I got my admission form, fafsa form for student aid so I can fill these out. I am late for this semester but I can go next semester in the spring. So when they start accepting applications I will go up there and get some help with it.

I will be able to get my associate degree here at the local college but sadly most likely have to go to the main campus which I am not sure does not have a dorm. Transportation now is a iffy so I am do not know about main campus. This is all given me a headache but hopefully I can figure it out before I start.

I needed to buy some new pants so I headed down to the local Wal-Mart. After skipping the isles of jeans I found some pants called Carpenter Work Pants. The price was around $18. I looked to the right and saw the exact same pair of pants for $20. The only difference was the item on the right had a simple logo and the name Jesse James Carpenter Work Pants. I know you pay more for logo’s but the exact same item for $2 more just because it had a damn logo on it? You would never notice the difference at all unless you pointed it out to people. Though the good thing is I dropped a few pants sizes. Go Me.

Mom wanted to go to few more places so we traveled to Peebles. I noticed some cool looking pants and was like wow I might buy these. Well I was saying that until I saw the price tag of $40. I’m not into labels so I just kept on trucking. Before I noticed mom was off and away looking at purses and some little baskets. I had to jog just to keep up with her and when I caught her she was like you are buying me these and headed to the counter. I asked if I had a choice and she laughed and said good one. So apparently I bought mom some baskets.

I bought some groceries and had a good lunch but I think I had a good day even though I hate spending money. We went to a few other stores then went home.

I was talking to my 11-year-old nephew the other day about what he wanted to be when he grew up. He told me he wanted to join the military. I am a curious person and I ask why a lot. So, I asked him why he wished to join the military. He told me he wanted to go to Iraq. Again I asked why. What he said next not only surprised me but gave me a fright. He said, “I want to kill Iraqis”.

I was set back by what he said and promptly asked him why would he want to do that. Again, what he said scared me. “They are different then us”. I kept thinking to myself what the hell is my sister and her boyfriend teaching him. I told him that first the military is to defend our nation and our citizen. Not to attack or kill unprovoked. He repeated “but they are different then us”. I sighed and told him that just because someone is different or a nation is different that it does not mean we have the right or the authority to attack/kill. I then stated that to everyone else we are different.

I then told him that there are some nations in this world that there are children soldiers. That these kids fight and kill to defend their family, their homes and their very own lives. He only said “Cooooooool”. I just sighed and dropped it knowing he won’t understand. During this whole conversation he kept repeating old false propaganda. The whole they started they war, Al Qaeda, weapons of mass destruction. Each time I refuted what he said he just shrugged.

My nephew identifies himself as a Christian the same as his mother and her boyfriend. Indoctrination has this boy’s head full of its ok to kill others because they are different or because there is a moral right to it. I have no clue what they are teaching my nephew but I really hope that when he get’s older that he will let logic, reason, rationality weigh more then some false promises by religious brainwashing.

I have been thinking of going back to college. Not sure how I will be able to afford any of this. I can not even find a part time job.

So I have been looking at what I would like to study or do. I have always like history so maybe become a history major. On the other hand I could study anthropology. I find many subjects interesting but hopefully I can just get through college without any trouble. I was going to go to college for computers but even though I am always on the computer I want something more fulfilling inside.

I had this post in my draft section. I guess I forgot to post it but August 1st was my birthday. I have turned 27-years-old. Even after all these years I still on a daily bases question life’s meaning. I personally feel that you make up your own meaning even if it is just sitting on the couch watching tv eating cheetos. That is not an ambitious purpose of life but its a life. That is not my life but I do my best to do what I enjoy while looking for work.

Few days ago I rolled my ankle while I was jogging. I am a heavy set man and I have been trying to lose weight. I am very lazy so doing this is pushing myself further then I have gone. I have lost several pants sizes and now have to wear a belt because I can not afford new cloths. I even had to fix one pair of pants cause if I threw them away I would of only been left with 2 pair of pants. Yes, I only have 3 pair’s of pants. My ankle did heal even though it is still stiff winces when I move it left or right. I will get back on the horse and jog later tonight.

Peace out and I need some new cloths that look decent I use to only wear jeans but I have been leaning more towards cargo pants. Mostly black because it matches the rest of my cloths. Yay for cargo’s.

I am still looking for a job. I will be putting in two applications tomorrow. One place, a hotel, I have already put in several applications. Have not heard a single call back and I have no clue why I let my mother talk me into putting a stupid application in a place that will not hire me. I am also being forced to put a job application at a nurse homing. They are not even hiring so to me this is just a huge waste of my time I can spend actually doing something useful, like watching grass grow.

I never really had a job. Now days you need work experience to get a job and to get a job you need work experience. Its a huge waste of time. With the economy how it is. You have many over qualified people applying for jobs they would never look at before. Most summer time temp jobs went to teenagers. Life Guards at pools, cutting grass and the typical burger joint. Now days people who are pulling 30 are applying for these jobs. Not just spending money but to feed their family. I am not in a bind where I need money but I do need a job for not just the experience, pushing my social construct further. One day I will have to be out on my own and I will not know what to do.

I hope I get a job but I have been trying for years. Even with me fighting my social anxiety and my fear of doing new things. Just so hard sometimes.

Today I bought a RayVac usb battery charger. It came with two batteries but I thought I had proper batteries. So I slide two batteries in and an hour later I hear a hissing sound. I just looking around wondering where it is coming from then I smell something foul. I hear a loud pop and look down at the battery charger and liquid is pouring out of it. I was able to pull the charger out and get the batteries out putting them on my table beside me. Leaving a small brown spot where the batteries were. Thankfully myself, my computer or charger was not harmed.

This is no fault of the charger but my stupidity of putting in the wrong type of batteries. Next time I shall get the right batteries.

My mother called me from her work today telling me that several police cars where at her job. That her job was telling her if she spots anyone she does not know to tell someone. She also said several people were murdered.

I was going through some news sites and found some news about the murders. Very scary for a town that is not use to it.

On a bright side. Some stray kitten came onto our porch. Fed it some food and milk. Hopefully it stick around and my other cat does not run him off.

I have been looking for a space sim for a few days. Something similar to simcity but in space. Maybe a mission based sim. I have played an Atlantis sim long ago but no longer have the game.

I have Zoo Tycoon 2 and have played only a hour or so of it. I need to play more. Hopefully my search will return a few good games I can play as I take a break from Guild Wars.

It has been many a year since I have seen a decent fireworks show. Small family ones or just a small pack. It is always fun to celebrate something, especially what the 4th of July represents. I have never been a patriotic man and definitely not a nationalist. Having pride in ones country is arbitrary. I have never found it to useful to have pride in something you were born into. Pride in being an american, pride in being white, black. Being given something from birth is not really anything to be prideful about. If someone has pride of ones nation or even color then what if you were born in a different nation or different color. Would you still have pride of what you are? Nothing wrong with pride in itself but having pride over something that you were born with is silly.

A person should have pride that a nation gives freedom to everyone. Not just a select self-deemed rightful people. It is a shame that even a country that prides it self on having freedom still does not give it to everyone. It is a shame that we are losing more and more freedoms. That more and more laws that are said to protect us are simply oppressing us, simply doing more harm then good.

Happy 4th of July my friends.

“Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death”. Patrick Henry, March 23, 1775

I remember watching this tv show in the 90s. After watching over several episodes. It looks like Earth 2 is a off world type of lost. It is a shame that Earth 2 was canceled before its prime. Another show taken off before its prime is Firefly. It is a shame that the networks could not see it.

I remember watching several episodes of FireFly but the networks kept switching the time it was on. Then wonder why I failed. Both shows had a decent plot and I think a good character lineup.

Yesterday my 11 year old nephew came over to use the internet so he can look up some cheat codes for some game. I quickly glanced over to see what he was doing and saw him inputing a cell phone number. Quickly I asked him to stop and asked why he was doing that. He said Don’t worry I am just getting my cheat codes and I done this before. I knowing that you do not need to input a damn cell phone number to get cheats codes I scrolled to the bottom and sure enough. A page and a half of blank page and then a very small fine print of this is a subscription based services. You will be charged $9.99 for this service. I told gage to never come to this site again and found a free “Gamespot” for some cheat codes. I informed his dad to cancel the server and inform his provider if they will putt a block on this type of service since some do.

These cell phone subscription things are beyond deceptive and right down theft. 10 dollars for some txt msgs? You can find almost anything for free on the internet. If a site asks for any personal information then be weary. Make sure you check out the fine print and the F.A.Q on the website. Even search other sources to see if the site is legit or not.

Early afternoon yesterday I took my 11 year old nephew and baby nephew to the school play ground. While we were going to the swings we spotted a wallet. My eldest nephew picked it up and I asked him to hand it to me. I only checked to see if their was an address and which there was. It was right up the road so I decided to play with my nephews for a bit on the swings and take it back when we head home. My nephew said he wanted a reward. I had to tell him that a reward should never be asked for nor expected. You return things to the proper owner and let them decide. If they do not offer any thing then take in the solace that you helped someone.

After a bit of fun I took my nephews to the house and knocked on the door. The teen owner opened the door and I held up the wallet. The teen said “wow, my wallet” grabbed it then shut door. Could of at least said thanks but I just figured that the parents never told their kids how to react to different situations. Maybe that is why we are in such a mess now.

At least I was able to teach my eldest nephew a lesson in returning property to the rightful owners. He did ask me a question. He asked, “what if you found just money on the ground”. I thought for a moment and paraphrasing here. If the owner of the money can not be identified then you can keep it. If the owner can be identified then you should return it like you would any thing else. Just because you find something does not mean you can keep it. The old phrase “finders keepers, losers weepers” is just for people who does not want the moral hiccup to get in their way of keeping things that do not belong to them.

As the days get hotter I have been finding myself walking later in the evening when its cool. I know this by the fact that the elder people around my block telling me about my late walks. Today on one of my such walks I saw a cute cat and it started to walk towards me. Next thing I know is I see a small bird dive bomb the cat. The cat didn’t’ care nor was it worried. It kept walking closer before yawning as the bird dive bombed again and again until it perched in a nearby tree.

I have been having some wisdom teeth problems on my right side for some time now. The pain seems to come and go every few days. I need to go to a dentist and have them removed but that will be very expensive. I had my bottom left one removed and it cost 900 dollars. Yeah, the guy said he took payments then when we received the first monthly bill it was 300 dollars. They never told us that it would be that high and they told us before the surgery that the payments were reasonable. Yeah right.

I have not been sleeping well for the past few weeks. I normally go to bed around 10:00 pm but now I am staying up from 12:00-2:00 am. The only thing that is getting me to sleep is pain pills and orajel. I have been saving for a new computer and now I am going to have to forgo those plans. I will have to spend every cent I have to get surgery on my wisdom teeth. Expensive beyond what I can afford right now. I woke up few days ago shouting that I need to find a wife who has family dental insurance. -bats eyelashes- ladies .. ladies? Hey.. where you going…

A month or two ago I created a trial Guild Wars account for the hell of it. After the time ran out on it I did not bother with it until my Guild Leader went out and bought me the Guild Wars Trilogy for the trial account. Now I am playing through the game again because my main account has no more character slots. It gives me something to do.

I tend not to like PvP side of games. I am a person who enjoys a story line/take my time PvE type of guy. Though for the past few days a friend got me hooked on Jade Quary in Guild Wars. I have been playing my Necromancer with a Suicide Bomber. Cast my skills, shadow step in and 2 more skills and die and if done well I have now taken a quary or only 1-2 are left alive. It is very funny to watch warriors run up to me like they are going to stop me and I step past them right onto the shrine and now they are faced with my dead corpse and a new quary.

I even bought new armor just for the occasion of playing. Though since I was new to PvP I was not aware of the arbitrary rules of the Dishonor system. One match I spawn in with my guild lord and only 3 people are active. My Guild Leader, some random dude and myself. The rest of the 8 man team are all not moving. They did not move the entire match. So they are leaching of course. I report them for leaching but strange thing is unless a third of your team reports them then you get dishonor instead. What bullshit rule is that? It would be better to say that unless a third of your team reports then nothing happens. Maybe Guild Wars can check to see if the people who are being reported have moved or even cast a single skill. These people did not move one inch the entire 10 mins so maybe they should of auto got dishonor.

I doubt they will fix that but hey at least I am enjoying myself blowing things up. boom boom

I called at&t yesterday about my DSL sync issues.  I did get a call center in India but I was for the first time able to understand that person very well.  They did not ask me any of that bullshit routine read from prompter crap.  Did you check this, did you check that.  He just ran a few tests, called higher up tech and then issued for a truck to come out this morning.  The repair man came out and rewired the box outside and seems to be working fine.

Though they have to send another one out tommrow because now my mothers room no longer has a dial tone.  I got some woman at a main call center this time.  Very prompt and quick.  Surpised me too. At&t normally does not have a good rep on call center support but I think it went well.