Renew My Faith

Most people know that I have social anxiety. I am a very quite, shy guy that would rather be left alone. Over the past few years I have been fighting more to overcome this. In the past few months alone, I have been doing overwhelming things I would not have done years ago. Today I started a conversation with the woman doing my hair. I talked to the cashier at my local Wal-Mart and I pumped/paid for gas. People take these things for granted but to me these are challenges that I do not wish to do. I was over joyed when I did these things. I am a 27-year-old male who may love knowledge but common things like simply pumping gas is hard for me.

There has been times in my life when someone would ask me to get out and pump gas. I would simply flip out and start acting like a 10 year old covering my face with my shirt.

My cat has been acting weird over the past two weeks. She goes in and out of the house over the years we had her but for the past 2 weeks she refuses to leave the house unless we toss her out to go get some fresh air. Even then she will try to run back into the house. There has been two other cats showing up around the house. I, never wanting to see a hungry animal fed them. My cat wanted outside but then she started to fight one of the cats outside pinning it against the door. I had to split them up and she hissed at me which I do not allow her to do. She got in trouble for that and she would not leave the cat alone unless I was either between them or the cat was in my lap.

My cat is a little devil while the other two wildish cats were shy but would cuddle right up to you once in your arms/lap. Wish we could take them in but even my one cat makes my mom’s allergies act up.

Early afternoon yesterday I took my 11 year old nephew and baby nephew to the school play ground. While we were going to the swings we spotted a wallet. My eldest nephew picked it up and I asked him to hand it to me. I only checked to see if their was an address and which there was. It was right up the road so I decided to play with my nephews for a bit on the swings and take it back when we head home. My nephew said he wanted a reward. I had to tell him that a reward should never be asked for nor expected. You return things to the proper owner and let them decide. If they do not offer any thing then take in the solace that you helped someone.

After a bit of fun I took my nephews to the house and knocked on the door. The teen owner opened the door and I held up the wallet. The teen said “wow, my wallet” grabbed it then shut door. Could of at least said thanks but I just figured that the parents never told their kids how to react to different situations. Maybe that is why we are in such a mess now.

At least I was able to teach my eldest nephew a lesson in returning property to the rightful owners. He did ask me a question. He asked, “what if you found just money on the ground”. I thought for a moment and paraphrasing here. If the owner of the money can not be identified then you can keep it. If the owner can be identified then you should return it like you would any thing else. Just because you find something does not mean you can keep it. The old phrase “finders keepers, losers weepers” is just for people who does not want the moral hiccup to get in their way of keeping things that do not belong to them.

I got a free sample of this teeth whitening strip. You put on your teeth and it is suppose to whiten them. Putting them on was the easy part but after like 20 minutes I wanted them off for some reason. After a bit of tugging I was able to pull them off. The after taste was just awful. I had to rinse my mouth out a few times to get rid of the taste.

Also today my mother brought home a new vehicle. She would not let me drive it but said I could next week. Bah!!

I have been needing some new headphones for my ipod because my last set kind of got wonky on me. Left ear piece stopped working and I really do not like the half plug things. I get these headphones from a survey site that I take surveys for. This place gives you points that you can spend on gift cards or items. The headphones I got were in the 3k points bracket which I think is the $25 gift card. I got the MDR-J20 Sony headphones which I think are $15-20 but if you add shipping then I think it evens out.

I did not look at the directions because who looks at directions for headphones seriously?  Though I was like how the hell you put these on. After a minute I looked on the box and then said “Damn I am stupid”! I put them on and plugged into my ipod and low and behold these things are not half bad. Was using them for an hour before my ipod needed some juice. Charging . . . Charging . . . HURRY UP ALREADY.. Ok my fault for not charging it earlier.

I really enjoy the headphones that hang off my hears instead of the plugs. Easier to run that way I think. New poem on Allpoetry if anyone wishes to read it. Link is over to the right in My links –>

Traveling alone one day by my lonesome self.  Thinking to myself, dreaming of food.  Yummy Plants I always say.

mmm I love leafy food!

I walk alone, looking for food.  Delcious declious meet.  I roar and I roar I will eat you.

I eat you!!

I move closer to my prey.  I move closer to you.

I move in closer to eat you.

But all in all, I just wanted a hug from you.  I love you my dino friend.  ^^

Awww, me hug!

I was woken up this morning with a whisper of my name.  I was motioned to look out my window to see that not only was it snowing but we had a few inches on the ground.  It does not snow much here in lower Tennessee and I was surprised.  If it does snow it usually melts quickly. Though this snow brought back memories of my childhood like a whiff of a beautiful flower would bring back  memories of a past love.  I do my best to remain calm in every situation so I did my best not to get excited.  I rolled back over and closed my eyes.  This only lasted a moment before a smile crossed my lips,  similar to that smile you make when you get that first kiss from your love.  I was dressed in a flash ready to bolt out that door.  My big bulky frame standing poised in this day of snow.

What is the first thing anyone does in the snow besides shiver and hear that crunch of snow under your feet.  If your are like me you do your best to build a snowman.  It has been beyond years and several memories ago of remembering the joy of my childhood.  Rolling up my new found sock gloves, bending over and packing that first fresh powder of snow in my hands to roll across the lawn.  The more I rolled, the larger the snowball got.  After a few of more snowballs I had a snowman built.  Not my best work but still excited and over joyed.

Still beaming with the thoughts of my childhood I remember about my daily walk.  I figure I might get it out of the way now.  I think to myself “No matter the weather”.  I embarked down my driveway.  This any other day is just a downward driveway but today with fresh snow and ice made the walk scary for me.  I fear falling so walking like a penguin down my driveway did not make it any less embarrassing but still had high hopes.  I made it to the end safely and over joyed.  I take a breath of fresh air and set out for my mile walk.

The unsalted roads are not slippery but do contain that swishy ice and snow mixture.  Not dangerous but still need to be weary.  I cross this road and find the sidewalk.  I continue to walk the same path I have many times before but have never brought memories of this nature before.  I remember the days when I lived in Illinois.  Those days of waken up at 5 am and seeing the plows already at work.  Unlike Tennessee where most things are shut down and not prepared for such a snow, even  as small as this.  My walk was uneventful besides taken a small picture of a tree.

Again my penguin walk takes me up my driveway, uncaring about being embarrassed.  I just want to get inside and be warm.  I do my best to shake the snow off my boots.  Memories still flowing through my head.  Remembering the days when my siblings and myself would jump off our porch doing flips into packed  snow.  We also did this in the fall.  Gathering up leaves and flipping into them.  Laughing as my sister would run around after finding a bug crawling up her leg or my brother trying to dig leaves out from his pants.

Even though I am cold and bottom of my pants are wet I am still here smiling.  I am still wondering why it snowed In march instead of a month like December.  I don’t care much but I am thankful to being able to remember parts of my childhood once more.

If you have enjoyed my morning maybe you would enjoy a poem I wrote to reflect this day.  What Am I Poem

Yesterday my brothers wife was ran off the road by some blue truck. The drive of the truck ran off without stopping. My brothers wife is ok with a few bumps and bruises. Her black jeep though, its front end is damaged. Some if it will need to be replaced to be drivable. It was a nice jeep to and my brother really does not have the money to fix it. Will take some time for them to get the money together. Even on top of this, the wreckers charged my brother 200 dollars to take the jeep less then 3 miles to my house where he is storing it until it is fixed. Sad uh?

Now good news then. Today I received an email that I had won a raffle. This is part of the online surveys I do for extra cash. I won a 50 dollar Amazon Gift Card. I already spent it. I bought Outlaw Star complete, Titan A.E. and Blue Submarine #6. It was a total of around 65 dollars so I did have to spend 15 dollars of my own money but still not bad. I also got the free shipping deal Amazon offers so I did not have to spend money on the shipping. It will take longer to get here but I am in no hurry. I have already seen those three anime. I own the VHS version of Titan A.E.

I also did some work for 12Comics.com I do some stuff for them from time to time. Upload images, take comics and upload to scribd and other website duties. I get some cash and that helps me out a lot because I am still looking for a full time job.

A friend I play Guild Wars with told me she is going to go to Game Stop and pick me up a copy for my Trial account I started. I told her she did not have to but she insisted because of all the help I give her. ^^

A lot to type and was all over the place but just typing out my daily life.